New Year, New Laws, Same Absurdity

Welcome to the year 2015.  Along with the big party  and the personal resolutions there is yet another tradition that comes with the dawn of a new year.  January is often the time when laws from the previous year are enacted.  This year is no different.

With the Federal Government this is the year where citizens will be forced to pay a fine if they do not yield to the governments dominion over their lives and purchase Obamacare.

But of course that is not all, there are 3,541 new rules and regulations that rang in their first new year along with us in a register 78,978 pages long.   

While among those 3,541 new rules and regulations there are plenty of personal infringements and undermining of small businesses, I want to focus on the new laws passed on the STATE level that are just awful.  So bad I question whether politicians really have any clue about the real world.

Let’s start in the Cuomo fiefdom of New York.  It is now illegal to take a selfie with a tiger or a lion.

Seriously…Cuomo and his lackeys felt it necessary to put that little bit of micromanaging of a persons on the books?  I know this is the same state that passed the dishonestly named SAFE Act but come on.  Don’t get me wrong, taking a selfie with lions or tigers (or bears oh my!) is not a smart move but is the government going to step in and pass laws that make all dumb moves illegal?

The freedom to make dumb moves is a facet of liberty.  And how many tigers are strutting around the Empire State that the politicians felt this epidemic needed to be addressed.  I mean, Cuomo couldn’t be bothered to make a decision on fracking during the election but was more than able to sign a “Tiger selfie ban”?  Glad to see New York still runs with the same crooked efficiency as always.

In Seattle, it is now illegal to throw food in the garbage.  

I have to admit, when I first heard about this I initially thought they were going to fine people for throwing food in recycling bins or something along those lines.  But no, if you take food and throw it into the trash you will be fined.  Be it while out in the city or for you own home trash.  Initially the fine starts at $50 and will no doubt go up for those hardened repeat offenders.  The thought of garbage police rooting through your trash is laughable until you realize that Seattle is serious.  What are people supposed to do with excess food?

Well, if they can’t eat it all they are now being compelled to start composting.  Restaurants will probably find a third party compost partner but the regular folks will have to start their own composting.  Looks like Seattle followed the lead of Obamacare and decided to force people to join a government program lest they be fined for refusing.  I don’t envy people in Seattle with olfactory senses come the summer time.  That place is gonna stink.  Not to mention the rats.

In California, a step by step checklist is now required before having sex in college.

Yep, you read that right.  With the passage of the “Yes means Yes” law, college students are required to stop and ask for verbal permission at every facet of an intimate encounter.  If it sounds silly it is.  First of all, I was always told that those left coast liberals are all about keeping the government out of the bedroom.  Apparently that’s a lie.  Secondly, in actuality what does this law actually do?

  • Guy: I’m going to hold your hand, do you consent to that contact?
  • GIrl: you’re silly, sure
  • Guy: I’m know going to kiss you, do I have your permission to initiate mouth lock and tongue insertion?
  • Girl: uh…that’s a weird way to put it but ok.
  • Guy: I’m going to perform a bra removal technique now when I get the all clear from you.
  • Girl: What are a you a robot?  Hurry on with it.
  • Guy: Now that I have you in a state of undress I need your written consent that we may continue in a sexual manner so that I may be in accordance with the laws of the state of Califronia.
  • Girl: HUH?!?!  I’m not going to sign that.
  • Guy: Hmmm…I guess that’s ok, I’ve been recording this entire situation so a verbal acknowledgement for the record will be good enough.
  • Girl:  WHAT!?!?!?!?!  (the date ends with a very hard slap and the guy’s cheeks swelling)

That’s how ridiculous this law is.  But the pointlessness goes one step further because even if a girl claims she was sexually assaulted (whether true or not) the accused (whether innocent or not) can simply said that they went through the dog and pony show and he asked her consent every step of the way.  So, in order to make this law actually work a guy would have to have a girl sign off on every aspect of the encounter or consent to being recorded in some aspect.  Yeah, that’s what the world needs.

Also, there is the overarching inversion of our justice system where now the accused is now guilty until proven innocent.  Not a good precedent.

In Washington State, thanks to the passage of I-594 due to the bankrolling of billionaires like Michael Bloomberg, it is now illegal to hand a nail gun to your coworker at a construction site without first performing a background check.

That’s the way the law is written.  You can read more about that here:  Washington State New Gun Law

Let’s head back to California one more time.

Since gas prices are so low, California has passed a law taking effect in 2015 that sticks it to the citizens by raising the price of gas by up to 19%.  

This law is not even hiding its intent as it was passed in order to dissuade people from driving due to green house emissions.  Yes, yes, California is a bunch of tree hugging hippies…great.  But there are people who HAVE to drive like truckers who ship goods around the state.  That 20% bump in gas prices means companies are going to raise the transport prices, which means the prices of goods will go up further and as such the consumer, on top of paying more for gas, will pay more for everything.  Good job California.  Thanks for proving you are everything I ever said you were.

That’s just a taste of the absurdity that elected officials have regurgitated upon their constituents around the country this year.  Just think…this is only day 1.

Good luck in 2015 everybody…and Seattle; eat your vegetables or else! 


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