Hey David Blaine…Shooting Yourself In The Face Is NOT a Magic Trick Dumbass

Some of you may be aware of “magician” David Blaine.  I put magician in quotation marks because most of his more famous acts have very little to do with any time of illusion work and more of just him standing somewhere being looked at.

For example, in November of 2000 he was encased in a block of ice in Times Square for 63 hours, 42 minutes and 15 seconds.  That’s it…that was the trick.  The ice was transparent enough to see him there but yeah…ta daaaaa.

In May of 2002, Blaine was lifted by a crane to stand atop a pillar in Bryant Park (also in NYC) and stood there for 35 hours.  That’s it.

In September 2003 he was put in a Plexiglas box and suspended over the south bank of the river Thames in London. Lasted 44 days.

In May of 2006 he spent 7 days spent in a fishbowl filled with saline.

And so on.

To call him a magician seems like a bit of an insult to Houdini’s of the world so I hesitate in doing so.

With that being said, Blaine should have just stayed with feats of endurance because his latest stunt nearly killed him.

The set up is this, David Blaine takes a loaded rifle attaches a string to the trigger, places it about a dozen feet away and then pulls the string and fires.

I don’t have to tell you, my faithful readers, how absolutely dumb this is.  This isn’t an illusion where he uses a blank and then through deft slight of hand places a spent round in his mouth to wow the onlookers.  No, David Blaine shoots an ACTUAL bullet into his mouth.

And this is where the trick goes awry.

The bullet is supposed to be stopped by a small reinforced cup in his mouth but the bullet SHATTERS the cup and sends bullet fragments and shards of the cup into his throat nearly killing him.

Apparently Blaine has been doing this trick since 2010 and it is only by a miracle that he hasn’t killed himself yet doing it.

Again, this is NOT a magic trick, any less than some guy wearing a bullet proof vest and getting shot in the chest and calling it a magic trick that he doesn’t die.

Oh wait…

david blaine bulletproof vest

This is just stupid and reckless and in some way casts a negative light on gun ownership because it makes guns seem all the more dangerous because whenever a dumbass misuses a gun it casts a negative light on guns in general by the uninitiated who know better than to blame the tool for the actions of the one wielding it.

When will David Blaine just go away.  Most of his stunts that I have highlighted above end with people throwing rotten fruits and vegetables at him or just yelling profanities toward him or hoping he somehow falls/drowns/suffocates/starves to death.

As for this trick, he did survive and the shrapnel was removed from his neck.  Maybe this is the not so gentle reminder that it is time for David Blaine to go away.

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